If you say bad things about Christmas after it has gone, does that make you a Scrooge? What if you put in your best effort, wore your best smile and poured your heart into your gifts? I did that.
But forgive me for being controversial here; what is the point to it all? I'm most definetely not the first person to comment on this what with the capitalism of Christmas and all other holidays that companies cash in on. But this year it was my first "Adult Christmas"
Without the kids, leaving out some milk for Santa, seeing their faces when they notice all the presents surrounding the living room and going out to play on their bikes etc... where is the fun? Don't get me wrong, everyone enjoys receiving and opening presents and I am so grateful for everything that I have been given, but there's always that thing of; "Oh God, my present for 'so and so' isn't as good as this." or "great, this bath set can add to the collection of 15 I have at home from previous years", or worse, the dreaded presents you hate (mine are usually from my Dad- although I should feel lucky to even have them I guess). I just mean that present opening has been tainted with adulthood! Even the presents themselves are for adults. I can't spend Christmas day playing with my new moisturiser, or saucepan set. Saying that, my family spent the entire day pampering themselves and applying masses of make-up; whilst simultaneously remaining glued to their shiny new ipods and blackberries. A teenage Christmas leans into both Kids and Adult Christmas, no wonder they are so angsty... Then there are those presents that you get loads of and it makes you 'think'about their meaning... Last year I recieved 6 bottles of perfume from different people, I was like "Do I smell?" This year, I got 3 money boxes... people must have recognised my poorness; it's sweet they want to help me to save, but having lots of empty money boxes is somewhat depressing.
My girlfriend's favourite part of Christmas is the food. Being an Adult, you have the option of how involved to be in the making of the Christmas dinner. Since meeting my wonderful girlfriend, I have realised my passion for cooking and good food! Forgive me for becoming a bit of a "snob", or as I prefer, "perfectionist"... there is nothing wrong with wanting the dinner to be nice! When I was a child, I was the fussiest eater on Earth; my mum proudly reminds me of my diet of cheese on toast, yoghurt and chips at every opportunity (it's still all she can cook). Now, I try my best to show off my cooking skills, and make nice food and yet I am still mocked. This year they were going on about how last year I kicked my auntie out of the kitchen. Bear in mind that this kitchen barely fits one person in it! Ever hear the phrase, "too many cooks spoil the broth?!" This year there was more drama about the cooking, and I was centred in it. It continued right through the eating of the dinner, and sucked the Christmasyness out of it. I didn't even read out my joke; I know.
Finally, the boredom of an adult Christmas. Maybe the TV was shit, or my family are just too lazy to play games or do fun things, but it was bone dry. I don't blame my youngest aunt for going to her boyfriend's, but part of me felt that her absence made it so dull! They were all in bed by 10.30pm (I'm not going to mention their young age, they deserve to feel old!), and I was left half-drunk with my teenage sisters (still stuck to their screens and not interested in hanging with their uncool big sis moaning about how crap everyone is). And that was it! Over! All the anticipation, all the money, all the shit people go through, for that one disappointing day.
And the reason I say why do we do it, is because we aren't even Christians! Not once in all my years have we ever even thought of, let alone mentioned Jesus in our house. We don't believe in God, nor do we even say a word or two about how lucky or glad we are to have each other. It is literally a cross between a ritual and feeding frenzy; "get, get, get". I'm not exempting myself from it; I enjoy putting in time and effort into my presents, and spending time with my family altogether, but it just seems a bit weird.
Don't get me started on New Year...
'nor do we even say a word or two about how lucky or glad we are to have each other. It is literally a cross between a ritual and feeding frenzy; "get, get, get.'
ReplyDeletewe are lucky, and your right we should celebrate this more. Its all too easy to be critical, impatient and judgemental of each other (lets not mention your use of the b word!!) and to not remember how lucky we are.
I am so proud of you for the person you are becoming (amazing cook, donating money to shelter instead of buying presents, the gorgeous thoughtful presents you made) and you added something different to our 'adult' xmas that I loved and that I think is meaningful and inspiring.
However, i don't think it was boring or a let down. For me xmas was special because I coped ok without the kids and enjoyed time with my family and my new boyfriend someone who has become very special to me and who makes me happy. Sneaking off to bed half ten xmas day was connected to this as me n rich wanted some alone time.
It was also important to me to feel close to my family as one thing that I have learned over recent years is that lots of people can and do turn their backs on you for various reasons, family are constant, always there, supportive and loving inspite of any little day to day irritations/tensions that occur.
I haven't always felt this way when I was younger I often felt disapointed during family occasions but I have learnt the meaning of family now its about being there, not judging, supporting each other and being constant.
Xmas for me was a happy time, I felt loved (well ish!!) and loving. I am so happy that this is now how I feel as I have struggled in the past feeling unlovable and I spent 10 years in a relationship with someone who didn't love me.
I love my family and I know they love me
I am not perfect, and know I get on people's nerves but thats ok cos neither are they and they have faults too.... l love you and wish you so much happiness and success in 2011
I'm glad your not exempting yourself from xmas................it wouldn't be the same without you xxxxxxxx
I did not mean to seem critical, impatient or judgemental of my family; it was meant to be aimed at 'Christmas'. I'm not saying it is wrong to go to bed or want some alone time, but imagine it was everyone else, and you were the one left alone? I wanted to enjoy some family time and love too and it felt cut short. But no doubt I can, and will on any day of the year. Just because it was Christmas day, I felt let down, and that is the problem with the 'Adult Christmas'; it is destined to be disappointing as with anything that is built up as much as that. It was very important for me to spend time with my family too, especially after missing everyone when I was away. I enjoyed seeing all of you, and did have a good time over the whole period. I do not for one second deny that I have faults, and I love my family regardless of theirs too. I merely wanted to comment on the disappointing transition to adulthood (in Christmas); probably unsatisfying because of the child still within.
ReplyDeletei did not mean to say you were critical, judgemental or impatient it was a general comment about many families, and my comments were meant to celebrate our uniqueness as a family that we do all get on and get by because of the type of relationship we have where we are There for each other without necessary having to be very demonstrative about it xxx
ReplyDeleteI do think you make a good point that the pressure is there just because it is xmas and so think you and I should make sure everytime we are all together we enjoy some family time and make loads of effort ... hope to see you in Brighton soon kids would love to see u xxx